“In the beginning I was your daughter, your pride and joy, and you were my dad. There were no complications. Five years passed. I stole the role of your shadow, trailing behind you wherever you went, … Ten years passed. I slowly began to wander away from your embrace, … Fifteen years passed. I experienced the sounds of angry shouting … Sometimes I wish I could go back twelve years or so, so I could be your pride and joy again. …” (audio file - relating). As dads it can be a challenge to stay engaged, to relate well with our daughters and sons as they mature.
How is the TCC process going for you? “T” is for Teacher – Through age 10 or 12, everything a dad and mom teach in the home is absorbed with little or no questioning. “C” is for Coach - As the teen years begin, new questions emerge because outside influences can challenge the home-based teachings. The coach allows lessons to be learned within boundaries of the game but has power to call “timeout” if boundaries are not respected. The second “C” is for Counselor – Between 18 and 25 the coach lets go while remaining available for guidance through a valley of life if counsel is sought.
Relate Well: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from My Father I have made known to you.” – John 15:15. “Do not hold onto Me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to My brothers and tell them, ‘I am returning to My Father and your Father, to My God and your God.’” – John 20:17. As servants, the disciples absorbed all they could from the Teacher. When Jesus explained the parables and eventually sent them out in twos to heal and cast out demons on their own, they were promoted to friends. The Coach stepped in when they could not cast out the demon in the young boy (Mark 9:28-29). Upon Jesus’ resurrection, the relationship with the disciples matured to being brothers. And His Father would send the Counselor to remind them of all Jesus had taught and coached them through.
A dad relates well with his children by following Jesus’ example - teaching, coaching and counseling effectively as his kids mature. He turns to their mother, teachers, coaches and youth ministers for input on the journey and he commits quantity one-on-one time in the way of a retreat or other adventure with his children at least once a year.
Prayer guide: Lord, thank You for the opportunity to be a dad. It can be overwhelming at times to think You have trusted me to be Your representative in the home and in my children’s lives. I do strive to be the father You expect me to be, the father my children need. Be with me Lord on this journey as a dad and surround me with men that will hold me accountable in efforts to relate well with my kids as they mature. Amen.
A faithful father relates well by teaching, coaching & counseling as his kids mature.