Were you in the room when your first child was born? For many, myself included, that became a moment of emotional and spiritual awakening to the significance of the role of a father. One moment my heart burst with pride and the next it ached with the realization of how ill-prepared I was to raise a child that I could hold in the palm of my hand.

In his book, Heart of a Father, Dr. Ken Canfield opens with, “I believe it is critical that we who are fathers deal with our hearts in order to connect with our children. It is on the level of the heart – that messy, sometimes illogical, often spiritual center of each father – where I believe the best fathering occurs.” Fatherhood is a heart issue.

“See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.” – Malachi 4:5-6. Fatherhood is a heart issue. Dr. Canfield goes on to say that he “views the ‘job’ of fathering from the perspective of the heart because fathering is essentially a relationship.” Early home life has tremendous influence on shaping the perspective of what healthy relationships look like, be it in a loving marriage and family, an abusive home, a single-parent home or an adoptive home. Relationships in family provide the foundation a child will reference throughout life. Dads will typically either try to emulate the relationship he had with his dad or work to overcome a bad home situation. Either way, heart issues can fester. Paul presents another perspective in Romans 8:15 – The Spirit you received does not make you slaves again to fear; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. We are all adoptees into God’s family! Every man has an opportunity to take the lessons learned through his upbringing - the good, bad and ugly experiences that have uniquely shaped him for what the Lord is up to in his life, and move forward reflecting the heart and heritage of the Heavenly Father. This is what Dr. Canfield is referring to when he says, “…it is critical that we who are fathers deal with our hearts.” Dads are called to embrace the Spirit of sonship and let the heart-turning begin.

Men being men, we tend to press on in life to overcome heart issues associated with a tough home situation or the pressure to gain a father’s approval. Success at work and better financial footing may provide short-term relief but unresolved issues can flare up again in the form of anger or an addiction of some sort. I encourage you to read Dr. Canfield's Heart of a Father and check out the resources on the For Dads page of our website. And let the heart-turning begin.

Prayer guide: Lord, thank You for Your word and the relationship You call us to. I confess as an overcomer dad that I got caught up with a heart focused in the world, to succeed at work and provide for my family. Forgive me. I want my relationship with You to be on full display to my children through the marriage You have blessed me with. Open my eyes to how You have worked throughout my life to mold and shape me, even when I rebelled. Thank You for being patient with me. Help me emulate Your triune nature by prioritizing my physical presence, being engaged emotionally and leading spiritually by example. That is the dad You call me to be and that is the dad my kids need to see. Amen.

A faithful father turns his heart and his children to the Lord.