Identity clarity is knowing who you are, what family you belong to and, as a Christian, Whose you are. Trauma early in life can throw confusion into the understanding of one’s identity. A physically abusive home may be the first thing that comes to mind but kids can incur trauma in dysfunctional and single parent homes as well. Adoptees often suffer trauma from the get-go with the loss of their mother’s loving voice and touch.

As we head into my favorite month of the year, Father’s Day month, this is an encouragement for dads to ensure that the kids have absolute clarity in their identity in family, in their own skin and in the Kingdom. While trauma shows up in many forms, healing comes from one Source, our Savior and Lord Jesus the Christ.

So God created mankind in His own image, the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.” – Genesis 1:27-28. God’s design is perfect. He does not make mistakes. Each person is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps.139:14). For you have not received the spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, – Romans 8:15-16. Through a personal relationship with Jesus the Christ, all are adoptees, adopted into His family, His Kingdom. An earthly father opens the door to a child’s relationship with Christ as he emulates the Heavenly Father in the home. “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in Me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as You are in Me and I am in You. May they also be in Us so that the world may believe that You have sent Me.” – John 17:20-21. Unity in Christ through a Christ-centered marriage is the key to identity clarity. Disunity, often stirred up by trauma, is at the core of identity confusion. The charge to dads across this Father’s Day month is to provide absolute clarity in your children's identity in family and in the Kingdom.

Pamela Garfield-Jaeger provides clarity around gender identity issues many parents face today in her book, A Practical Response to Gender Distress. She gives warning signs parents can watch for if a child is heading down a transgender path. She writes, “Being aware and maintaining vigilance regarding these behaviors is vital since many transgender influences are explicitly designed to remain hidden from parents and families … Here are some behaviors you need to pay attention to:

• Your child suddenly spends an enormous amount of time on social media;
• Your child suddenly joins a whole new peer group;
• If you see changes in your child’s attitude and language that includes an increased use of gender jargon – trans joy, safe space, euphoria, gender fluid, misgender, …;
• Your child shows a new intolerance of your traditional values, language and culture;
• Your child shows new or increased interest in school or online groups that deal with gender ideology.”

In conclusion she adds, “It is important to be aware that behavior changes in your child happen in conjunction with a recent trauma, life change or loss, a major break-up, or something else that may cause them to feel socially displaced.”

Prayer guide: Thank You for Your word and Your design for family. I confess that I have not been tuned-in to the plethora of outside influences intentionally designed to confuse my kids via various social media platforms. It is through my passivity that they have been open to these influences. Forgive me. I commit to be more aware of and sensitive to behavior changes my kids exhibit. Help me empower them with clarity in their identity in family, in their own skin and in the Kingdom so they can make wise choices amid the confusing cultural influences. That is the dad You call me to be, and that’s the dad my kids need to see. Amen.

A faithful father provides absolute clarity in his child's identity in family and the Kingdom.