Who or what has had the biggest influence on your life up to this point? Was it a positive influence or a negative one, meaning did it provide clarity for your life or introduce confusion? A family situation that has dad and mom in the home establishing biblically grounded faith and values provides one type of influence while a home impacted by divorce or addiction has a different type of influence.

One young man grew up in a home in which he was exposed to pornography at a young age. The influence resulted in confusion around what a healthy relationship between a man and woman might look like well into adulthood. It is important to be cognizant of what you have been under the influence of, make course changes as needed and accept responsibility for being the influence you need to be in family and broader circles.

So then, be careful how you walk, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. … And do not get drunk with wine, in which there is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, – Ephesians 15:15-16, 18. The call from Paul is to “be careful how you walk.” The unwise are under the influence of something other than the Holy Spirit. Debauchery is defined as, “excessive indulgence in sensual pleasure.” Synonyms include wickedness, corruption and dishonesty. The unwise walk with little to no discipline in life, right versus wrong is a matter of opinion and truth is relative. The wise are “filled with the Spirit” and the discipline of Joshua, to “be careful to do according to all the Law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, so that you may achieve success wherever you go.”- Joshua1:7. Joshua had been under the influence of Moses for over forty years. Moses had provided the teaching and coaching needed. When God called Joshua to be “Strong and courageous” four times in the first chapter of his book, Joshua was battle-ready with the discipline of a soldier and the obedience of a servant. The charge for dads today is to take inventory of what influences have undergirded life to this point; have a candid and healthy conversation as husband and wife, dad and mom; and then commit as a couple to build on the good and rebuke the bad influences. The bad may be as simple as excessive screen time or as involved as generational trauma.

If you did not receive the owner’s manual for kids when you left the hospital, check out Faithful Fathering’s handbook for dads, Seasons of Fathering. You have roughly the first 10-years of life, the Teacher season, to instill the faith and family values through your day-to-day influence in the home with the children. The intentionality through the early years eases the transition to the Coach season, the second 10-years, as you empower your children to own their faith and make wise choices in the midst of cultural influences.

Prayer guide: Father, thank You for Your word and the influence it has had on my life. I confess I have been under the influence of a culture that introduced more confusion than clarity in life. And I have continued to lead my family more culturally by my example than spiritually. Forgive me. Grant me strength as a modern-day Joshua to walk in the discipline of a soldier and obedience of a servant. Help me lead by example in equipping my family with discipline to walk as wise people and obedience to live under Your word. That is the dad You call me to be and that’s the dad my kids need to see. Amen.

A faithful father leads with the discipline of a soldier and obedience of a servant.