“Up-hug Daddy!” It was not a request. It was a demand. And if dad was carrying anything as he walked through the door, he knew to put it down quickly so he could pick his daughter up and hug her as she expected to be hugged. It was all arms and legs wrapped around daddy in celebration that he was home.

As a dad of a daughter, I can attest that it is a glimpse of God’s glory to experience such an expression love from your little girl. During the elementary school years, a daughter loves time with her dad, be it helping him with yard work, going to the hardware store or kicking a soccer ball. Then, typically around 5th grade, the relationship starts to change. The dad-daughter connection begins to face some challenges.

Anyone who lives on milk being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil. – Hebrews 5:13-14. The writer of Hebrews appears to be frustrated with the seeming lack of maturity among the believers. The church was growing and the elders were not maturing into the leaders new Christians could look to. They were evidently comfortable as they were and needed a firm reminder that this movement required them to teach about righteousness and equip the next generation of believers to distinguish between good and evil. It would require a commitment to a new level of spiritual maturity to teach and train a maturing church body. Similarly, a dad may be comfortable in relating with his little girl. Then, as she starts to mature into a young lady, the ‘up-hugs’ become awkward and discussions testy. This is a firm reminder for dads to work with mom and discern how best to stay engaged through this time of transition that can make or break the father-daughter relationship. Dads are called to teach and train their household. This is realized as dads accept responsibility to move to a new level of spiritual maturity in order to lead the family in the Way. This calls for time in prayer, Scripture and study; time to prioritize marriage and love our wives as Christ loved His Church; and time to relate with each child physically, emotionally and spiritually as they mature. The key is time. Loving daughters takes intentional effort from dads to commit time to mature in relationship with them as they mature, especially between the ages of ten and twenty.

Tips to mature in relationship with your daughter:

• Establish regular one-on-one date nights – dinner, ice-cream or a movie;
• Check out the father-daughter 940-Project weekend, March 15-17;
• Be the one that teaches her how to drive – wonderful ‘windshield time’;
• Coach her team and/or be tuned-in with her extra-curricular activities;
• Check out the Faithful Fathering’s Walking Together hiking trip June 9-15.

Prayer guide: Father, thank You for Your word and the opportunity to be Your representative in my daughter’s life. I confess that I struggled as my little girl became a young woman. I disengaged when she needed me to engage. Forgive me. By Your grace I have been able to invest time utilizing the tips above to mature in relationship with my daughter as she matures. Help me continue to invest well on this journey. That is the dad You call me to be and that’s the dad my daughter needs. Amen.

A faithful father matures in relationship with his daughters as they mature.