Is it about quality time or the quantity of time I spend with my kids? The answer is, “Yes!” The key is to realize that the kids determine the quality of the time. Dads can only invest in the quantity. It does take intentionality and commitment to invest well in the father-daughter relationship.
Recently, Kristen Jenson, founder of Defend Young Minds wrote, “If you have ever wondered why so many girls feel like they’re ‘not enough,’ here is a hard truth: sexualized media and porn are training girls to see themselves as objects to be judged.” Here is a harder truth: it is usually a void in the father-daughter relationship that opens the door for daughters to turn to media and peers for affirmation.
The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, – Romans 8:16-17. The challenge is that many dads today have not experienced a father’s blessing as validation of being a child of God. Without intervention, the lie that you are not good enough persists and gets passed on to generations that follow. The good news is that Jesus the Christ is the intervention that opens hearts to the blessing from our Father that empowers us as God’s children, heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ! Thus, dads can rebuke the lie, embrace the Truth to the full and pass it on to the next generation. Every daughter needs to hear – You are a beautiful child of God, an heir of God and co-heir with Jesus the Christ, certainly good enough just as you are; You have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the power of the resurrected Christ empowering you in this life, you are good enough to do whatever the Lord is leading you to do. This is not a onetime sit-down discussion. It is a culmination of investing in one-on-one opportunities from ice cream dates with your little girl to dinner dates with your teenage / young adult daughter.
Tips to enable a strong father–daughter relationship:
- Exhibit your relationship with Christ in marriage every day;
- Establish a habit of reading to and praying with your daughter early on;
- Schedule routine one-on-one time getting an ice cream or going to get a meal;
- Teach your daughter how to drive;
- Partner with Faithful Fathering to coordinate a daddy-daughter dance and father-daughter weekend with your church;
- Commit to extended one-on-one time, a father-daughter hiking trip in Colorado;
- Bless your daughter at key junctures of life – Seasons of Fathering.
Prayer guide: Lord, thank You for being my Father and blessing me with a daughter. I confess I thought dads raised sons and mothers raised daughters. Forgive me. I want to represent You well in my daughter’s life. I pray she would know You because she knows me. May she be comfortable in her own skin, knowing she is ‘good enough’ as a child of You. Grant me strength to invest well in the father-daughter relationship and pass the baton of faith and family values to her. That is the dad You call me to be and that’s the dad my kids need to see. Amen.
A faithful father invests well in the father-daughter relationship.
