The way we hug as husband and wife, the way we smile or scowl, the tone of voice and content of our speech and even the way we move are all statements on what really matters to those around us.
Young couples are often hard at work to establish themselves in a job or career while trying to navigate life in their relatively new marriage. As children enter the picture, all the birthing classes and past babysitting experiences do not prepare a couple for the life as dad and mom. It takes intentional effort to make sure the marriage conveys the message of what really matters and reflects Christ.
… Live your life in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. … I will hear about you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind, working side by side for the faith that comes from the gospel, not being frightened in any way by your opponents. – Philippians 1:27-28. Paul’s letter to the Philippians is a charge for us to be the Church wherever we are, to live in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. This starts in the home. Standing firm in one spirit is one’s personal, passionate and growing relationship with Jesus the Christ; with one mind, working side by side is the marriage relationship reflecting a relationship with Christ; faith that comes from the gospel is a grounding in what really matters, right priorities in this world; not being frightened in any way is a reminder that when one fears God he fears nothing else; and, by your opponents is a reference to the world, to the busy-ness of worldly priorities at work to distract and create stress in the home. One of the devil’s best schemes is creating stress that will destroy marriage and family. He will use something as simple as a change in schedules to create stress in the family routine and change the tone of voice in the home. The change in routine and even a different tone of voice in turn conveys stress to the kids. Young children do not know how to process stress but will respond to it with newfound moodiness, bed-wetting or other accidents that here-to-for had not been an issue. A natural response is to ‘fix the child’ with visits to the pediatrician or counseling. A better first step would be for the young couple to commit an evening or a weekend away to discuss family routine and communication that could reveal the source of the stress.
It would have been a blessing to have an seasoned dad come beside me early-on in my journey as a father and provide such insight - That while I thought I was dealing with stress, I would still bring it home and it would manifest in ways I could not comprehend at the time. Faithful Fathering’s focus in this new year is on encouraging and equipping young dads, in partnership with the Church to be faithful fathers. Consider the following:
- Get two copies of Seasons of Fathering and read it with a young dad;
- Give a young dad a jar of 936 marbles and watch this video with him;
- Schedule an inter-generational dinner for men in your circles or church.
Prayer guide: Father, thank You for Your design of marriage and family. I confess that I did not pay as much attention to Your design as I did the example I wanted to overcome. Forgive me. I want to live in a manner worthy of You in my marriage. I know that as I go, my family goes and as the family goes, the Church goes. Grant me discernment to know the opponent in this world and power to rebuke his schemes. That is the dad You call me to be and that’s the dad my kids need to see. Amen.
A faithful father knows the opponent and rebukes his schemes.
