Off to Life

Off to Life

This back-to-school time of the year is also an off-to-life time for many dads and moms. Whether it is dropping a child off at college, sending them off to start an internship or trade school, or watching them head off to boot camp, a new season starts.

This is the transition from the Coach season of fathering to the Counselor season. The Counselor season is particularly challenging for two reasons: First, it gets here a heckuva lot quicker than anticipated – Wasn’t it just the other day we brought her home from the hospital? Second, we have to let go, trusting the Lord will cover any shortfalls in our fathering efforts through the previous seasons. It is now off to life for the kids.

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you the Counselor to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, Whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. You know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.” – John 14:15-17. Jesus had invested well in His disciples. His teaching was comprehensive covering all the scrolls said about Him, His commandments and His example of servant leadership. He coached the twelve and then the seventy-two in healing the sick, casting out demons and forgiving sins (Luke 9:1-6, 10:1-11). In this passage, Jesus is letting go. It is off-to-life time for His disciples. But He is providing counsel by asking the Father to send them the Counselor to remind them of the teaching. He knew there would be regrets for not paying closer attention to all He had taught them, that they would suffer shortfalls. He also knew He had instilled the values and commands they would live under and that they would own their new-found faith in the Him. It was time to let go. Likewise, when dads and moms invest well in their kids, the first ten years or so they teach family values and faith to prepare kids for influences outside the home. The second ten years, they coach the kids to own their faith and make wise choice amidst conflicting influences. Around ages 18-25 it is time to let go. In the Counselor season it is about providing faith related encouragement and letting go in love. There will be regrets, the could’ves, should’ves and wish-I-would’ves, but have confidence as God provides the Counselor to cover shortfalls. The word for this season is availability as the kids head off to life.

Tips as kids head Off to Life:

• Provide a new Bible with a note of encouragement and prayer written inside;
• Pray for your child by name every day. Share your prayer with them and ask how else you can pray for them;
• Provide a daily devotional book or app – a couple of suggestions: My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers; Truth for Life, Alistair Begg
• Be available and schedule a periodic lunch or get-together as practical.

Prayer guide: Thank You Lord for Your word and for sending the Counselor. I confess I struggle to let go. I too often still try to teach and coach my adult kids. Forgive me. I love how You have allowed valleys in life and provided just the right counsel to shape me through those valleys. Grant me strength to let go and trust You to do the same as my kids head off to life. That is the dad You call me to be and that is the dad my kids need to see. Amen.

A faithful father lets go as adult kids head off to life.